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I'm getting to my all my one year mark.  I am at 10 months as of a couple days ago.  Since the weather has changed all the foliage in my area is making me have intense flashbacks of my surgery and the months before and how sick I actually felt. I got married two months before my transplant.  I looked really ill.  It really hurts because at the time I was oblivious  that one could and would get better. So its very hard for me to cope with the flahsbacks? Any one have any helpful hints to combat or aid them?

Thanis!! :) 


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    The Science Behind PTSD Symptoms: How Trauma Changes The Brain
    After any type of trauma (from combat to car accidents, natural disasters to domestic violence, sexual assault to child abuse), the brain and body ch…
  • I love this video on EMDR

    EMDR is for PTSD

  • The idea to EMDR therapy is to think about the event that is troubling you while practicing EMDR therapy.

    The video here is very relaxing- there are all kinds of emdr videos.

    . the video following it is more therapeutic for me. Maybe it will work for you?


    A video about the practice of EMDR

  • Hi Alicia. I will admit up front that I didn't have a lot of flashbacks, but my first year was filled with paranoia. My first cold/infection, meeting strangers, driving again, eating out....and the list went on. And of course.....what about rejection??????? The good news is that everyone goes through this sort of thing in one form or another. And I've noticed that once you are past that first major hump of your first transplantaversary, these things fade.

    As Kidneyboy (I believe) mentioned, you have to put some effort into filling those areas of paranoia or flashback with new, positive thoughts and memories, but it's worth the effort.

    The emotional well being of a transplant tends to take a bit longer than the physical. I suspect because often emotional trauma and scars run deeper. But don't worry, you are going to keep feeling better and better and will find a good balance for yourself

  • Hi everyone,
    I am 9 months out from Tx, my flashbacks are sad sometimes. Sometimes show up in abstracted dreams. My dreams also are showing re integration back into my life almost every night. I have one dream after another on my social relationships and re organizing events at top speed. It's very interesting. Usually when sadness comes up , I let it flow , listen. Than feel thes thoughts... but I'm here, I didn't die like was anticipated... I'm here . In other words, I allow my true feelings to come out. I do discuss them with my family if need be. I feel for you. So young , yet I too know in the first year everything is new.
  • Have you heard of EMDR therapy?  Google it and watch some Youtube videos on EMDR

  • No one would argue that the transplant experience is a traumatic event.  The fact that you are reliving it more frequently as you reach a milestone suggests you are processing the memory, perhaps because less recovery allows more time to reflect on the enormity of the experience.  I believe creating a greater "library" of good experiences will soon overtake the appearances of the negative, especially after passing the one year celebration.  Certainly your journey toward the next one will be easier and less stressful.  

    This may be your body's way of processing all that you endured. I have been living with a transplant well into a second decade and still have to refrain from remembering the past, as I cannot change it. I do not want to waste the precious time I have been given, I already lived it and I'm not a fan of reruns.  I do hope you find relief soon and Happy Anniversary, in advance.

  • Hugs to you Alicia, I can't pretend to know what you are going through first hand with these specific flashbacks, but I do understand flashbacks in my own way.

    Though my advice may not be particularly helpful, I would say: sit with them, acknowledge them, be sad if you need to, but then recognize where you are right now. And, if you can, let those flashbacks make you happy and thankful for this very day. 

    Turn this spring into the first spring of your new life, and make new memories, ones that are more vivid and intense than your last. I am so happy that you have this second chance, smell everything more strongly, the smell of grass, of leaves.. and breathe it so deeply that the only thing you can associate it with it is this amazing life you never knew you would have

    xx Tara 

    • Tara, I love what you said. So clear ad heart felt. I read your profile. I talk with my liver co ordinator every other week. She is actually more helpful than my doctor. She is precise and to the point.
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