I hate to admit it but I am not being the support I'm supposed to be for my husband.
After 11 years of dealing with his heart failure, surgeries etc we are finally getting to the nitty gritty and Ive fallen apart. He was hospitalized because he couldn't breath and had a lot of fluid removed from around his heart.
Hes never gained back what little strength he had. He lost a pound a day for 12 days and has finally began to eat and gain some weight back.
His Dr thinks its time to check in the hospital and stay until he gets a heart and we will see on Thursday if that's what happens or not.
We live a long way from the hospital so we have rented a place a few blocks from it to be on the safe side. Hopefully he will get a heart soon. This is what we have been waiting for.
I'm sure many of you have lived this and worse but what I can't figure out is me. Ive suddenly become a basket case. Instead of being strong and smiling for him all I can do is be terrified and cry and cry!
I'm totally and completely helpless in controlling my emotions. PLEASE! Anyone else out there go thru this? How do the caregivers deal with all the stress? None of our children live close and I have nobody. I feel so helpless and alone. Suddenly its overwhelming and almost more than I can bear.
Its embarrassing to even post this knowing what hes going thru and many of you are too. I'm desperate.