Nickles 101 Kidney donation

The impossible becoming possible. When I first heard the news, that he was sick, all I could feel was a slight emotion and perhaps a bit of sympathy. I learned of an illness that could eventually take a life. With no cause, and no cure, the only hope was the generosity of another. For that time I could only think of how great it must feel to know that someone else is willing to alter their life to save yours. And what a great feeling it must be to hold someone elses life in your hand, and have the ability to keep them alive by making a mere sacrifice of your own.
When I heard his potential donor had backed out after being in limbo for two years, I decided to do a little research. During this time another potential donor had been in the testing stages *unfortunately due to a medical condition he was ruled out*. I had been researching and thinking for months. After careful deliberation I decided to offer my kidney. In May of 2010 I began the testing phase. During this time I had decided to keep this as our little secret. In July 2010 all the tests were coming back great and the probability of me donating was increasing. I decided it was time to speak with my family about my decision. Thankfully, they were open to the idea as well as more than supportive (huge relief).
It may sound a little selfish of me but the more I thought about the future, so in August of 2010 I packed my things and moved across the country. Not only did this upset my potential recipient, but my family as well. I had every intention on returning for the transplant, and continued the testing from Colorado. My recipient, Ron, began to worry about what I would do while being away, changing my mind, settling down there, getting pregnant. We spoke every day that I was away, but I dont think that eased his mind when I told him how much I loved it there. In February we were cleared for scheduling our transplant.
On April 21 2011 my mom and I began our journey to the University of Michigan. The first emotion of any of this was when we stopped for my mother to get something to eat. I was alone in the car when "Lean on me" began to play on the radio. I don't know what it was about that song, but I cried through it all, and it still makes me cry.
At 5am on Friday morning, we met my recipient in the waiting area of the surgical ward. His mother hugged me, and told me she loved me.
They called my name, and I followed the nurse to the pre-op room. So white, and so clean. It had a smell to it. Not a bad smell, but that hospital smell. A very lonely smell. When I was completely prepped they allowed my parents in one at a time. All three were extremely encouraging, and supportive. My mom came in and held my hand as she sobbed and asked me if this was what I really wanted to do. I was completely 100% positive this was my final decision. The anesthesiologist gave me something to relax me, and thats the last thing I remember until I woke up.
When I awoke I was in the recovery room and the nurse asked if I wanted either of my parents in. I am the type of person that when I am sick, I hate being talked to, touched, or bothered so I declined. I know this too was selfish because I know my mom just wanted to see that I was okay and I made her wait. I've always felt bad for that. I was moved to a room where my family was waiting. I had a pain button that administered medication on my command, and I liked it. lol. The first day was no cake walk. I'll be the first one to say that was the most pain I had ever felt in my entire life. On day one my recipient felt great. Even visited my room. I was so jealous because I felt like crap. I dont think the drugs actually take the pain away, they just make it funny. But I was glad he was feeling good after so many years of being sick, I was happy to take that away.
My best friend was also there with us (also a mutual friend whom introduced us) and sat at my bedside the entire time. My recipient was across the hall so he bounced between us. While I was sleeping he would visit him, and while he was sleeping he would be by my bed. the second day they removed our cathaters and we were forced to walk the halls. Our friend, John, would encourage us with jokes and try to cheer us up. He was truly a great choice when choosing a friend. He helped me to the bathroom, helped me do my hair *he wasnt very good at the hair* and untangled my tubes when I couldnt.
On day two I was feeling a little better, and was willing to get up and move around, with the pain button of course. I almost cried when they took that away from me:-(
On Easter Sunday I was released and John and I made our 5 hour trip back home. The next week was kind of a blur. I couldnt get up or sit down on my own, but I didnt really do much anyway.
After I was released, he had to stay down state for a month, but we talked a few times a day until he came home. Knowing what I its like, and knowing what I know now, if I had to make that decision now, I would absolutely do it again.
Not only was I given a sense of pride, but it brought me to do things I've never done, and wanted to do. It brought my family closer, and gave me a realization of what life is really about, and how precious it is.
In September 2011 he contracted pneumonia and was hospitalized. This was the first hospitilization since the transplant. I spent day and night with him. I dont know what it was but I was like a mother hen, I called him every hour I wasnt there with him, and my heart ached. Five days later he was released with medication. a week after that he callapsed and was taken by ambulance to the emergency room. They discovered a mass in his chest between his heart and lung. After four days of tests, and pokes, and mystery they finally ruled out our biggest concern. Cancer. On day seven they released him with medication that they said would disolve the mass a week later they said the mass was nearly gone. Six days later, he got even more sick. yesterday morning he called me and said he needed me. He was taken by ambulance an hour later to the emergency room. He is Septic, and not doing well. While in the ER UofM called to let him know his cratenine level was high. He told them he was in the hospital AGAIN, and they offered to transfer him. About fifteen minutes later, they called back and told him they wanted him there under their supervision. It took some work but I got him talked into it. At 9pm tonight the ambulance picked him up for transfer. It breaks my heart that I couldn't go with him, but I have made arrangements to be there this weekend. But I have more faith in the great doctors and technology at the University of Michigan than I do with our local hospital. I know he is in good hands, yet I can't help but to worry.
Its funny the relationship we have now. Its a love that you cant explain, and its almost as though nobody understands why or how you feel this way towards someone.
With every pain he has, I wish I could take it away. With every hurdle, I wish I could jump it for him. I wish I could take it all away so he can finally live without having obsticles.
I thought about the decisions I had made, and the things I had done and the things I would do in my future. I am wasn't planning my career or when I would wed or have my first child. I was thinking of whether or not my life would have more meaning and what it would mean to someone else. If there is one reason for me on this earth, it was to help him live.