Totally unprepared, there is no rehearsal or training for this. Dry runs and false starts are of little help. Networking with friends was a dead end. Nothing, absolutely nothing can make you ready for the day you get the “call.”
We are trained about medications, diet, and all other aspects of the transplant process, but we are left on our own to face the emotions and anxiety of the day our coordinator calls us to receive a transplant.
I thought I had all this under control, having done this before. I foolishly believed experience would counter my overactive nerves. When the time came, all these effects came rushing to the surface. Fortunately, time was short and I did not have that luxury to allow my nerves to take over. Before they could, I heard myself saying “Yes” and the process started. For this, I am thankful, as I rest comfortably in my recovery room.
Should there not be a way to practice this? At least some discussion in pre-transplant meetings, cannot this topic be breached? Nothing, absolutely nothing and I am so not ready.