Never Ready

Never Ready


Totally unprepared, there is no rehearsal or training for this.  Dry runs and false starts are of little help.  Networking with friends was a dead end.  Nothing, absolutely nothing can make you ready for the day you get the “call.”


We are trained about medications, diet, and all other aspects of the transplant process, but we are left on our own to face the emotions and anxiety of the day our coordinator calls us to receive a transplant.


I thought I had all this under control, having done this before.  I foolishly believed experience would counter my overactive nerves.  When the time came, all these effects came rushing to the surface.  Fortunately, time was short and I did not have that luxury to allow my nerves to take over.  Before they could, I heard myself saying “Yes” and the process started.  For this, I am thankful, as I rest comfortably in my recovery room.


Should there not be a way to practice this?  At least some discussion in pre-transplant meetings, cannot this topic be breached?  Nothing, absolutely nothing and I am so not ready.   

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  • I am very proud of you KB.

  • Wish I could Rise....because it was an "@ risk" kidney(iv drug user or questionable sexual history) I may never know who the donor was.  The "risk" is what allowed me to jump the waiting list.  It was my choice to accept or reject.  So far So good!

  • Welcome Back Kidney Boy

    Tell us more about your special angel who donated to you.

    In regards to your discussion, having undergone two double lung transplants, I can say that each experience was totally different. I learned so much from the second tx.

  • Kidneyboy,  First let me say it is great to have you back here updating us with your progress.  I am very happy that you have another chance at a "normal" life again.  I agree with you have with everyone that each person is going to be different and there is really no cookie cutter approach to this topic.  But if you have the love and support of the people around you it will at least help get you through these emotional times.  Take care and keep us posted.

  • I am so happy you got the gift of life. No I dont think there is anyway to practice for the call. I think it is like most things in life that happen you just do what you need to do and then reflect after. It is like having children you never know what your life is going to be like till you have them, no one can prep you for everything, yes, it can be discussed what to do but like transplant no situation or child is exactly the is what is all about, but like most things in life you muddle along and figure it out along the way.  So happy for you.

  • We all have expectations going in.  I have six brothers, my husband, and my nephew, who were tested to see if they could give me a kidney.  Eight times I was disappointed to find our blood types did not match.  Finally my two sons were tested, and lucky for me, they both matched.  My son Drew gave me a kidney, and saved my life.  What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.  I wanted to live!  I see each day since my transplant as a gift.  Whatever time I have left will be lived to the fullest.

    You have made it through, Kidneyboy!  Congratulations!

  • If and when I need my tx I can only hope that with my experience on drinking can be of some help.  I had help with my meeting group's and #'s to call and talk to, if found myselft thinking what if or going back to the booze.  I know this is not the same but it does apply to some extent of needing other who have gone thru the tx so I'll tried to give support when I can here in transplant friends.

    so all wishes and prayers to u and take care.

  •  I agree Cisco .. but I think we have an aweful lot of Great people here and with our exp:  I think we as a group can give some good advice  to our tx cntrs , granted  every tx is differant ..  some of what happens has to be the same for all of us .. knowing that our tx teams have never gone through a tx them selfs and thier just giving advice on what they think ,  as a group  I think we can make a differance and maybe help our teams better inform future tx patients ...  just my 2 cents worth ...

  • I guess that this website is a place where it can be discussed. You are correct. When you go in, you really don't have any idea of what is coming, and in fact, everybody's experience is different. I suppose that this is the reason for nobody discussing with us what will happen. Hell, I am not sure that they know what is going to happen, again, because everyone is different.

  • Hi, I don't think one can ever truly be ready for anything life throws at us. There are no "dry-runs" no "practice shots" and as you say - no help for the mental side of what you are going through. The doctors will only ever explain the physical aspects, your friends and family will only ever try their best to be supportive and loving. And the rest you have to figure out by yourself, in those dark lonely hours of the night. It is fortunate however that you have us who have been through everything, in our own way, that you are going through and we are here because we understand and empathize. 

    Good Luck with your recovery and remember there is always someone here to help :)

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